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October 26 伤心和决望很久没有用中文来写任何文章了，现在用中文写布落格，还有点不习惯的感觉。。。不过，这次写的内容并不是开心的。。 总觉得自己已经变了很多，如果要是以前的话，老早就悲伤到死去活来。。。但是，现在的我竟然没有这种感觉！！虽然很早就已经知道他有很多东西瞒着我，我并不是不怀疑，只是不想这样做。但是，自己是骗不了的。终于趁着他洗澡的时候，悄悄的看他的手机短讯。虽然我很清楚自己的行为很不道德，在这样的情形之下，也只好干一次了。。。 果然不出我所料，我看到了不该看的讯息，当然我不会在这里详谈，如果他找人帮他翻译我在着里写的文章的话，我也不理会了，反而让你知道了也好。。。 我很清楚自己近来很繁忙，真的忙的不可开交。有可能你比较寂寞，我没有时间陪伴你，也不能完全怪你。也难怪你近来如此神神秘秘，好像在逃避很怕我知道你在做什么。。。。 现在你每次都很晚才回家，但是，我认为你是回酒店。你只是回来睡觉而已，然后早上就去上班，半夜才回来。这不是酒店是什么？ 总觉得我已经迷失了自己，表面上看起来好像蛮正常的，但是内心乱的不得了。。。心已经没有了感觉，好像死了很久，也不明白为什么还在一起。。。是依依不舍吗？还是在珍惜以往的回忆和过去？还是爱面子？我真的不知道。。。 我很希望知道自己是多心和敏感，当我的到证据的时候，我再次的给你多一次机会，但是你始终都没有对我坦白。由那个时刻开始，我的心就死了，也不想在问你任何问题。因为答案都不是真的，只会让你说多一次谎言来伤害我。。。 当我写这文章的时候，我还怀疑你到底是不是我真正喜欢和爱的人。半年前，我还相信。现在的我不敢说，也不想下决定。正如他人所说，缘份尽了，也只好分开。我并不是不想挽救，而是不知道有没有这个必要。。。 September 16 AppreciationToday early in the morning, just felt bored and on my laptop, suddenly the message of "Low Disk Space" appear on the task bar. I only realize that it's been ages that I never do "house keeping" for my laptop, so I just took out my external storage device and starting to transfer some of my downloaded stuffs to external storage so my internal storage can be increased.
While I'm searching which files/folders can be removed, suddenly just saw a folder that "we" took the picture in lotsa occasions, anniversary, birthday, at home, dinner, vacation etc.... Just wondered when we start quarrel earlier, did both of our mind appear the word "Appreciate", I'm doubt about myself, not sure about "you". Have you ever think the moment that we've been together? The happy moment that etched in our heart and soul? I don't know.
Maybe it's my fault, or maybe not. We'd been promising each other that sharing whatever problems that we faced, but you keep on hiding it from me and giving with the reason that you don't want me to worry about you. If you don't want me to realise about your problem, then don't show it on your face! I'm not stupid and I'm not senseless.........
But whatever it is, whether it's positive or negative, I'll be just happy or sad, and I couldn't choose what result I want. Pressure + Handling ProblemsIt's been a while that I never enter this site to update my blog, and even online to MSN and chat with my dearly friends. Thanks for them that still concern about me and never forget that I am still exist in this world.
After getting promoted as higher management level personnel, everything started to change, the major changes, of course, the responsibility and workloads compare to the previous position. Company expansion created more headache to me to manage the staffs, politics and performances of myself. Everyday work more than I should (I'm not complaining) but I do really love my job at the moment.
Sometimes I really do not know whether my decision is right or wrong, and particular person claimed that I giving too much pressure to him, pushing him and make him stay away from me. Quarrel exist very often compare to last time. I don't know it's my fault or his, and probably will end up with a big disaster which I couldn't control. I do afraid that this will be happened in a very short period of time.
Love or not to be loved, when you love someone after certain period of time (or I shall say, love probation period), I believe that most of human being will give out all the best to the one who they loved to show how important that person to yourself. But somewhere somehow mistakes might be there when the party was too scare of your love (not controlling).
Today I'm just had a huge quarrel with my loved one, and today is one of my long-known friend's birthday, and both of us suppose to attend his birthday party, but due to today's incident, only myself will attend and I'm totally not in the good mood at all. While I'm writting this blog, I'm in the office to do some follow up from superiors in HQ. I do not want to think about this and just acept the fact that I might be single again soon.
Lastly, I'm really appreciated for those who keep in touch with me even though I'm "considered" myself MIA (Missing in Action) for quite sometimes. Thanks alot especially the 2 lovely ladies that I knew from my Uni last time. Love ya all. August 01 What Friends Are For?I really do not have definite answer about this question. In my entire life (for 28 years) I had met few type of friends, some are still alive, some are already dead (and I mean passed away), some are still keep contact, and some are MIA (Missing in Action)...
Friends - from the dictionary's definition.
Suddenly I had this thought in my mind, too many types of friends that around you, some are just make use of you while you are still useful. Some of them just want to chit-chat with ya, some of them that might seem so careful about you, concern about you, but in actual fact, he/she might betray you one day (I had experience this too many times)....
How much will you trust a friend? We always call he/she is my best friend, best buddy, best mate. We do not have any secrets among us. Are you sure that really do not have secret at all? I had used to say this word before, but I might be wrong in the future.
Sometimes I do hope that I better know no one to be my friend. I realised that sometimes I feel really happy when I didn't keep contact to some of my friends, just let it think what they wanna think, I'm not even respond to their SMSes or emails.
I might be too free today and nothing to do in the office..... that's why just put the blog here.... July 23 New Hair StyleJust get a cut from one of the PLU saloon in KL, actually this hair
style I wish to make it long time ago, but I'm kinda hesitate to make
it realized. So this time I decided to go for it (Just like the time I
want to have my body tattoo-ed and pierced my ears). Kinda satisfy with
the new hair style for myself. But some others said that I'm look like
a punk on the street. Anyway, I don't really care about what others had
said, just be myself and this is me..... Who cares....  July 18 1st Anniversary17/7/2006 - First year for both of us. Time does really fly very fast
yea.. Never expect it's been already one year for both of us that
staying together, the time is just felt like yesterday
We went to GSC at Times Square to watch Pirates of the Carribean, a
stupid and lamest movie that I ever watch in the big screen. Moreover
it's a long movie that last for 2.5 hours. And we had missed our dinner
However, we had the dinner at Blue Dragon at Cheras Business Center with housemates. We did enjoy alot of food over there (break diet rules for once). Also, thanks for my housemates that accompanied us to spend our happy moment together. I really appreciated it.
July 10 My GuestBook (For those who wanna attack me)First of all, this space is for those people who HATES me, likes me, love me or whatever reason about me. You may just write the comments here. I don't mind but not too offensive to me then it's ok.... I'm very scare one de leh..... Don't bully me ooooo.... June 19 Murder Case In My Living BlockDid you ever see a "fresh" human dead body just below 3M of range? With blood surrounded the body and with the broken wrist and leg? Well, I did... just with the England match with TnT. The condo unit number B6, where I stay in 1st floor. Suddenly with the "Durian" drop sound followed by the extremely loud scream of a female. Within few seconds, my place is full of "3 8" audience to find out why... A Malay guy felt from 6th Floor and just dead down of my unit's balcony. So I can see the body crystal clear with "VIP" position.
To find out more information, kindly check on Sin Chew website for whole story... I'm lazy to type.
http://www.sinchew.com.my/content.phtml?sec=1&sdate=2006-06-16&artid=200606161437 June 08 Air Asia Sucks Or Too StrictAs I had said in the previous blog, I had missed my flight for just for few seconds before the counter closed. The story was like this. On 24 May 2006, the time is 3pm evening. My housemate fetched me and my dear went to KL sentral to take the Air Asia shuttle bus. When I reached there (4pm), one of the bus had just departed. So we have to wait for the next bus which is at 4.30pm. We are aware that we need to reach there 45 minutes before the departure time of the flight which is 6.10pm. We decided to take the cab to get to the airport. Suddenly, one of the AirAsia bus staffs told us that we still can take the bus and go to the airport and can check in eventhough 40 minutes. So we trusted him and proceed to the bus and reach the airport sharp at 5.30pm. When we see the check in counter status is "Open" then we just walked and thought that we still have enough time to check in. Just a few steps away, at about 5 meters, the status changed to "Closed". The staffs there not allowed us to check in anymore. There are also few pessenger who wishes to check in as well. But all requests being declined. We all had argue with the customer service officers and he never wish to entertained us, even asked him to ask his supervisor to come out and he also didn't want to. So we got no choice but to bought another new tickets to Kuching (No more flight to Sibu that time) and take the bus from Kuching to Sibu. When the time we want to come back to KL, we also late to airport for more than 7 minutes but still can check in through the counter~~!!!! How come in Penisular Malaysia not allowed but in East Malaysia there's no problem even late for 7 minutes????? I'm still wondering.....  10 Days In Sarawak (Sibu)24th June 2006 - A date that full of excitements and anger. Excitement was finally I got a chance to go back to my dear's hometown in Sarawak (Sibu), as I never been there before. I always exciting to go to the places that I have never been. Anger, I missed my flight with my dear just for few seconds after the check-in counter in Air Asia closed. However, I don't wanna talk about this at this blog, will write in details for the next blog. I stayed in Sibu for 9 days. Sibu is a small town, you can just walk to explore to the whole city in Sibu. Eventhough the place is small, but the stuffs are quite cheap though. Especially their food, not to mention fast food like KFC or McD (More expensive then Penisular Malaysia, extra 30 sens). Dear's mom is a good cook, their local food, Kam Pua mee (干盘面) in hokkien, is marvelous. Dry but very nice. Moreover it's just RM2, quite big serving as well. Lotsa foods that I couldn't really remember the name. But I do remember the cakes that dear did for me, Orange cifon cake and American Black Midnight (The richnest chocolate with choc chips and raisins). Not sweet but it's rich with the taste (As I'm not allowed to eat too much sweetnest foods). Also, his mom prepared a lot of snacks that I never had a chance to eat before for their Gawai Celebration.... These foods will etch into my memory for the rest of my life... April 10 Pierce ~~Hmm.. 26th of March 2006... A day for me to challenge myself again after the incident in Australia back to year 2004. Maybe for some of you will say there's nothing or big deal about it. But for me, it does. I had pierced my both ears and my experience of it was quite scare at the beginning (Pain~) and see the ear ring's needles going to punch in my ear , just like what I had did my tattooes on my arms and chest... But in the end there's nothing compare with tattooing and you may see the blood came out from the scars... I believe the pierce master is good in it, with 20 years of experiences and psychologically "cheat" me to overcome my scareness. Today, I had bought another pair of ear rings and it's a jesus cross. I'm look very different now and sorta "mafia" I believed. But I like my new image with my ear rings on...  January 31 Anyone in "P" life?For those who knows themselves are "P"
I still don't really understand why the current society still don't understand "P"? As there are so many movies, which include major/minor "P" contents, "P" knowledges are spreaded throughout the media, more and more countries are starting to accept "P" but not ours
 . As we are now in 21st century, don't ya all think people should judge person based on their attitudes and behaviours rather than they are "P"? I had been in "P" life for more than a decade now, and our society still doesn't seem to change their point of views through the "P". I really wonder why....But this is just my thought, nothing more than that, or maybe I'm just day dreaming....
HELLGUY My First BlogDear All,
I would like to thank you for visiting my space. Well, actually I really got nothing to say about this, I was just sitting in front of my laptop and using the MSN 8 Beta version, then saw the icon that indicates the MSN Spaces, so I clicked on it and here it goes.
 Let me just intro a little bit about myself for those who not really know me from the beginning. First of all, I'm kinda stubborn, hot temper
 , and also an impatience person. Apart from the negative attitudes, I also believed that I'm a understanding, sharing, and outgoing/extremely open-minded person. I'm currently attached with my love one for about 7 months and everything go smoother as time goes by. I'm not really wanna talk about more about my love as some of you out there may not really understand how my love life would be, especially you are not the same type as myself.
Well, I leave it to you guys to judge about me, and if you need clarification, you may just drop me a line or two and perhaps, I will answer your questions then.
Cheers,
Andrew aka HELLGUY |
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